Lottamobiili: Waiting for visas in Biskek and meeting with unwanted feeling ofloneliness

When I arrived to Bishkek, I met punch of people who had been in Bishkek from 10 days up to 25 days. They all were waiting for their visas for countries in Central Asia or China in order to continue their journeys. I got stressed with the idea of waiting almost a month for my visas and the process of getting all visas sorted out sounded extremely difficult. I met three English girls, who are also called Women on wheels, and before they left for a beach holiday to famous Issikoul lake they told me all useful information to make my process faster. If I only had read other people's blogs, I knew what was waiting for me. Yet, I had been enjoying my time, so I hadn't had time to read other people's blogs, so the whole hassle came as a surprise.

As a Finnish citizenship, I needed to get invitation letter for visa of Uzbekistan. I ordered that one first through travel agency, they told me that the invitation letter will take up to five days to be processed. Meanwhile I managed to get Tajikistan visa (it took me two minutes) and Iranian visa, which took two days. Tajikistan visa is very straight forward process; go to the embassy, fill up form, add picture, remember to apply for permit to enter into Pamirs and tattadaa you will get the visa normally the next day. Iranian visa is also simple: either go to the embassy and get the visa with the code you have applied from Internet, or do it through travel agency.

While I was waiting for invitation letter for Uzbekistan, I decided to cycle up to the Ala Archa national park. It's located 40km south from Bishkek and I took my tent and stove with me to be able to sleep one or two nights in the park. I had struggled with nightmares and very light sleep after the Kazhakstan experience and I wanted to test, if I still felt comfortable to camp alone. Also, I wanted to get out of the city of Bishkek, because for me (or most of the tourists) there is not much to do or see.
The road to the national park was one uphill, with not much of an inclination. I stopped after 30km to eat lunch next to the river. I felt lonely, because it was the first days I was alone after Toon and the amazing women on wheels trio (Jenny, Louis and Amanda ) went to the lake. To me it seemed that my world was suddenly upside down, I didn't know anymore how to be by myself. I was stuck in my memories and a beauty of companionship and sharing, comparing my ongoing experiences with other people's experiences. It seemed that everybody was traveling with somebody and everybody was telling me how amazing it is to share experiences. For me the unknown brings handful of possible new experiences and I get exited about them, this time the direction of unknown and indefinite goals felt just overwhelming to be faced alone.

I got lost with my lonely thoughts and feelings and two local man surprised me by coming to have a lunch at the same spot. They shared everything they had with me, explained their stories and listened to my stories. We spend three hours talking without common language and it still surprises me how It is possible to understand people without really understanding them. Before I left, I got a bracelet from one of the guys. He had made it himself and he blessed the bracelet before giving it to me. Later, when I was back in Bishkek I heard the bracelet is made out of silver and it is a traditional pricy piece of art that women wear in special moments.

After I met the guys, I felt better. I remembered one of the reasons why I like to cycle alone. To meet new people, especially local people and look into their eyes and listen what stories they have to tell. When I am alone, I feel people tend to come to talk to me easier and I am more likely to stay and listen them with my full energy. In the end, I don't have nothing else to do or nowhere else to go. For the first time in my life, I am able to stay present when people talk to me, and I don't have a feeling of rush inside me, which I normally have in Finland. Normally, I like being alone because travel become more challenging and somehow more real, the random encounters with local people are more deep and even the nature around me feels more real, more magical. I have nowhere to lean on, no one by my side to look for sense of familiarity. I often feel this brings me every day into present moment and forces me to believe and trust the goodness of unknown.

Just to give another sample. On my way from Bishkek to Osh, I got invited to locals home to escape the rain. In this house stayed a grandma and her sons daughter. The daughter spoke very good English and we became friends. The grandmother was the sweetest person I have met for a long time. She welcomed me with a big hug, boiled water for me to take a warm shower, hold my hand in any possible moment. When I was going to sleep, the grandma took me into my bed that was on the floor of a living room. She laid me down, placed two blankets on me and gave me kisses on my cheeks, saying spakoinoi noitsi, meaning good nigh. She petted my head and I felled a sleep. There is good people everywhere who have so much love in them that they are ready to share it with a stranger, me. I am still surprised, how such a deep connections can be made so fast on the road. These moments and feelings are sometimes enough to keep me rolling alone, because for a moment I am filled with love and comfort. These moments are so important to me while cycling solo. The morning always arrives and it's time to load the bike and say goodbye. This grandmother gave me handful of chocolate and told that mountains will be big, but I can do it.

In Al-Ararcha, I unpacked my bike and carried my bike and two panniers up the mountain for plateu, which I chose for camping. I was not alone, I had company of three young stallions grazing around my tent and plenty of marmots popping up from their homes on the field. After a while the horses came to say hello to me and the marmots were not scared of me anymore. I had a lovely sunset and I remembered how one can feel so much better out in the nature. I also remembered from cycling in Europe that in the cities if I spend time alone I often felt lonely, but while cycling and camping the feeling of loneliness was not that strong.

Unfortunately, I fell ill during the nighttime and got horrible diahorrea. I returned to the city and found out that I had received the Uzbekistan invitation letter. Just to mention shortly, the lady working in the embassy of Uzbekistan is not so friendly. She didn't like me smiling, so she made me to be the last one getting the visa. I had to wait outside of the building, in the sun while her office was empty and the only one waiting was me. She kept me waiting for 45 minutes alone. How angry I was in the beginning, until I found my peace and decided not let her to destroy my slowly growing happiness. When I finally got my visa, she asked me why am I smiling and in the same sentence she also told me how she disliked me. I found this amusing and smiled more at her and just answered her thank you. Most likely her words tell more about herself than me and this realization made me happy and I had to thank her for that.

By that time the only visa remaining was Turkmenistan visa. The embassy of Turkmenistan is 14km outside of city center and the process is also very straight forward. With copies of my passport and pictures, I walked into the embassy, wrote handwritten letter why I want to travel to Turkmenistan, filled application, paid 10dollar for the process. At the moment around 40% of the applicants receives the visa they apply. I applied for five days transit visa, because it's easiest to get. I will hopefully pickup the visa from Tajikistan, otherwise I have to retry. The luck is still on my side, all the visas took only eight days with me!

In the end, did I find my peace to be by myself again? The answer is yes, my feelings got lifted and the unwanted grasping feeling of loneliness started to move away from my chest. During my last night in Bishkek I was sitting on the rooftop of the guesthouse listening mosque and the calls for prayer with Fumi, japanize cyclist. We talked about dreams and he asked me what is my dream. I went quiet for a moment, until I had to say it loud. Cycle touring was my big dream, and actually it still is. To push my comfort zone and learn more about myself, learn about new cultures and actually step into strangers homes with full openness and gratitude in my heart.

So to say, I am still living my dream, even though it's not always easy and happy happy joy joy. After realizing this, it brought me back to the present moment, and I felt good and happy to jump on my bike again and face so far the hardest road on my trip. For the first time, I would climb up to 3500m with my Lady princess. To make it more challenging, after long holiday and not so much of cycling!